Money coming out the .....

I always giggle when I ask Nic for money. I handle the finances and if you asked Nic he probably doesn't even know how much he makes on any given payday. I never carry cash. He does. He has a special relationship with his new money clip. He doesn't really care about things, but man he loves this money clip. But I digress...

Because I never carry cash, occasionally I have to roll Nic for some. It feels so cute, it makes me feel like a little girl to ask him for money...kind of taken care of or something...sort of sugardaddied. Anyway, he gave me a 20.00 bill this morning. I was positive I left it on the couch after family prayer. He went to work and I spent a good ten minutes looking for it to no avail.

Guess where I finally found it? Inside Evan's diaper. Nic hid it there. I'm not sure the message I'm supposed to take from that.

Blogger Ninja!

I am the blogger ninja. My indian name is "duped Angie into marrying me". As blogger ninja, I slink around her posts, adding tidbits and insights with ninja speed and ninja precision.

This attack has to do with the total awesomeness of my wife. She made this great invitation:

She is amazingly creative...and sincere. She asked me "are you going to feel wierd about me publishing a picture of me slinking around the naked, svelte body of some super-hunk?" and I said "No! anyone who knows us, knows I look exactly like that. No worries!" So she's sensitive too.

The Ninja also declares that Angie's new hair cut is totally awesome. Her eyes are the most beautiful things I've ever seen, and she is a naturally hot pregnant babe, even without trying. It's hard to keep my ninja mind on ninja thoughts when I'm around her.

Her ninja husband makes close to no ninja dollars and works like a ninja dog about 12 hours a day. This means that Angie runs a whole household, takes care of my 2-1/2 ninja children, all without help and without any money. We eat like kings, not because we buy expensive food, but because she can magically whip four basic, left-over ingredients into endless nights of fancifal feasts.

She is modest, so when she sees my ninja post, she will first be embarrased, then giggle, then try to remove it unless we kep commenting to have her keep it up.

"Duped Angie into marying me" ninja loves his ninja wife.....and what?...uh huh...well yes President Washington, I'm pretty fond of you too.

Sub-par summary

Man! I can't take it anymore! I'm up late making invitations for my twilight party and my lack of blogging lately has finally overidden good sense and at 1:15 am I am making a post. Phew... Now mind you, this is a rediculous pictoral summary that in no way sufficiently chronicles the adventures of the last month...but here are some little bits.

I got a new haircut that you can't really see in this picture, but I was feeling cute today so I took a picture of all of us to commemorate my great self esteem.

Here's Mr. Turkey, our paper plate friend.

This is my house and Evan after our Disneyland Vacay.

This is how Afton feels about the beach.

She also feels like this.

My honies.

Our last day at our heavenly hotel. Sigh. You can tell our smiles are fake. When we picked up our car I had to physically make Nic drive away from the Hotel and off Disney property. He was more depressed than me!

Me and Afton in front of Bear Rapids. My bump groweth.

Afton enjoying the fruits of Disneyland.

The train ride at D.L.

I find my husband's hairline sexy for some reason. This photo shows how cool his hair grows.

Aftonrella.

Evan making his pirate hook.

And finally, I was tagged to share five wierd things about me or my family:

1. Nic would kill me...but I happen to know he has imaginary conversations with famous people from history such as Brigham Young (taking him for a car ride through the desert and explaining modern science to him). The other day I heard him talking to George Washington in the shower. I called him on it. He was so busted.

2. I'm a taco rebel. I always put unexpected things on my taco like celery, pineapple, spinach etc. I'm bored of the lettuce tomato thing.

3. I get a narcotic high from putting up Christmas decorations.

4. I fill the pit hole of avacados with ketchup and eat the whole thing.

5. When Afton gets really excited about something, she grabs her butt cheeks and runs around in circles.

I tag my Cali friends Melissa, Kim and Evan.

Phew....I posted. Blood pressure returning to normal....ahh...gotta go to bed.

I think I'll move to Australia

I remember sitting and listening to my elementary school librarian Mrs. Snedden read to my class "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day". I loved that chubby little Asian woman. And I loved that book. Fun to read. Not fun when your day actually goes like that. Not even my day...just my park outing. I am a firm believer in looking on the bright side and not dwelling on the negative, but sometimes the negative is downright comical!

So we went to the park after preschool. I made a special point to ask Afton if she needed the bathroom before we hiked on to the playground. Of course she didn't. We get to the playground. Afton starts walking around with her knees together and her butt poking out. She needed the bathroom. So we did our business in those disgusting park bathrooms...washed hands...purelled for good measure....went back to the park. No less than five minutes later...Afton is doing the weird chicken dance again. We hike all the way back to the bathroom which had wet mystery puddles all over the floor that smelled...and she had well....deposited a special nugget in her Minnie mouse panties. Great! So I squatted down to help get her undressed and my pants split from stem to stern.

I think if I weren't such a germophobe my life would be much less dramatic. Trying to undress Afton without her feet touching the wet smelly floor almost put me into a full out panic attack! So while I am squatting in my newly drafty pants trying to get her pants back on her Evan decides to go ape crap and run at me full speed for a linebacker style tackle. Ahhh!!! People falling over in smelly puddles....undisinfected poop hands....Evan rolling around on the aforementioned floor...Ahhh!! That is IT! SOMEBODY'S GETTING A SPANKING!

Calming myself...pulling up pants...washing hands....re-purelling...ahh....I love the antiseptic smell of alcohol....

We hike back to the playground. Evan says, "Mommy I poopy". Huff. Okay, he's a baby, he can't control his pooping times. He can't help it that we have been at the park for 30 minutes and only five of those minutes haven't included cleaning someones hiney. So we find a bench to change and he goes nuts because the sun is in his eyes...starts screaming and kicking which causes untold cups of sand trapped in the folds of his pants to sprinkle out and stick to his butt....that makes him scream even louder because it is scratchy when I wipe him...my head is killing me...Afton is saying..."Mommy, are you mad? Is this a bad day?"

Yes Afton. This is kind of a bad day. So apologies had to be made for my ranting...hugs given...a little prayer offered to help me be better at keeping it together...Phew. I'm exhausted. Luckily my kids are quick to forgive and I had three bites of Ben and Jerry's Pumpkin Cheesecake left in the freezer when I got home. But I'm still wearing my ripped pants.

Shut your Pie Hole!

I had an interesting experience today. I usually don't share my personal religious feelings on my blog...I keep it kinda light...but I know I have a lot of mommy friends that blog with me and I think this applies to our lives. It's early Saturday morning and I just finished up preparing my lesson for Sunday school tomorrow. It was about looking forward to Christ's second coming and remaining strong in the face of fear and temptation. One of the main points the lesson made was that as we strive to to what's right Satan increases his forces upon us.

Well, this morning I tried to do what was right. I passed on wasting the morning on a t.v. show I know wouldn't spiritually help me. I prayed before my lesson. I felt the spirit as I prepared and really got excited about sharing my testimony of those principles in my class tomorrow. I ended my lesson with a prayer and thanked Heavenly Father for helping me feel so darn excited about the scriptures...that's a hard thing for me so I was extra grateful. Here's where it gets weird.

I don't pretend to understand how Satan operates. I don't know logistically how his ideas end up in our heads or exactly how he tempts us. But I'll tell you what I do know and what happened this morning. I came out of my bedroom feeling on top of the world, ready to tackle my shopping list and clip coupons and really get my stuff in order for the Sabbath and to have a great day with my family. I sat down to eat my delicious breakfast tacos and these are the sentences that entered my head.

"YOU HAVE NO CALL TO BE HAPPY. YOU ARE A SLAVE TO YOUR FAMILY AND SHOPPING FOR THEM AND CLEANING THE HOUSE IS MEANINGLESS. YOU ARE STUPID TO BE EXCITED FOR YOUR DAY BECAUSE THERE IS SO MUCH MORE OUT THERE TO MAKE YOU HAPPY."

I just want to tell you how blown away I was by those thoughts. I clearly know they were not mine. They were the total opposite to what I was feeling just seconds before and though I don't know exactly how Satan works...I know those were his ideas and not mine. So I told him to SHUT HIS PIE HOLE!

Even as I write this I feel the confirmation that what I am saying is true. I love being a mother and a wife and I just want to say that it is worth it and that keeping a home and feeding and nurturing my family is an errand from God. That's all. Thanks for listening.

My sous chefs

Nic came home the other day and payed me the sweetest compliments for letting the kids cook with me. Although it's messy, it takes longer and it's not convenient.... He thanked me for creating happy memories for the kids. The little stinkers always find their way into the kitchen and here's some photos of what we've cooked together lately.
Evan Mutilating some snow peas for the stir fry



Peeling peaches from my parent's ranch for Pablo Peach Pie!


Making pizza dough


Bean Salad


BBQ Kabobs

And for those of you tisk tisking...wondering if I ever clothe my children, I swear I do, they just end up like that somehow!

Doggy Bags

Do you know why I love my husband? He brings me doggy bags. Every once in a while he gets to go out to a mega-swanky dinner for his work. Since the first one a year and a half ago he has never failed to bring me a doggy bag. It's a big deal to him. At this time in our lives we rarely go out for that kind of meal...spending two weeks grocery money in one night type thing...and I think he feels guilty that I'm home with the kids while he dines with adults. While I'm giving night time baths, some tuxedoed dude is turning on the water in the men's room so he can wash fillet Mignon grease from his fingertips. He wishes I could be there to experience it with him, so...

He eats exactly half of his meal. Last night he brought me two jumbo prawns, half of a lobster tail, half of a fillet Mignon, half a scoop of potatoes, and half of a slice of strawberry cheesecake. My doggy bags always come beautifully presented in fancy packaging and he will sit with me on the couch and describe how everything tasted when it was served and how it was presented. He will tell me what the dinner conversation was and what the restaurant looked like inside. He described how the waiters were dressed and even how the alcohol smelled that was served to some of the people.

This morning I heated up my fillet in the oven, shared my potatoes with Evan and enjoyed my cheesecake. (I was freaked out about eating day old seafood...so with much regret I tossed the prawns and lobster tail...is that just an urban legend or does seafood not keep overnight?) Nic teased me about being an uncultured sloth because I speared the whole hunk of meat with a fork and dipped it in KC masterpiece BBQ sauce. But then he laughed and said, "It's your present, eat it how you want."

Thank you honey for doing the little things that mean so much. I love you.