Smile of the Mind

I love when a random brief image gives me a chuckle...something you just happen to run into. This week I saw three things that just made me laugh. The first was a sixty-something flowerchild driving a hot pink Geo Tracker - the same Geo Tracker I coveted in 10th grade. She had on a fuzzy homemade beanie, and went tearing around a corner with her tie-dyed skirt slammed in her door dragging along the street. I had a good time imagining what her apartment must look like...with overgrown aloe plants, worn out futons and burning incense.

The next thing I saw just this morning. It was a burly blue collar worker drving his beat up white work truck. On the hood was super glued the exact barbie horse I had as a kid. The Palimino with blonde mane...one hoof delicately posed in a prancing position. I laughed out loud when I saw the mane magestically blowing in the wind as he barreled down Flamingo street.

Then I saw a man standing at a bus stop with a head infinitely too small for his Frankenstien-like shoulders. I was hoping it was just a poorly chosen coat with big shoulder pads.

I guess I'm not the only one who finds amusement in the ordinary...on the way to pick Afton up from preschool I hear Evan snickering in the backseat. I asked him what was so funny. He said, "Mom, look at Raisin's weener...I HAVE A WEENER LIKE THAT!"

Seafood - Me no likey

Somehow...I don't know how, Nic and I are completely caught up on Maslow's heirarchy of needs which has created this happy/feisty atmosphere in the house this morning as opposed to the normal threating of the kids with maiming if they dare ask for anything as absurd as a bowl of cereal before 7 a.m.. Nic took advantage of this mood by blaring some of his favorite music...PHISH. He rarely subjects me to the torture...but he was feeling his oats today. He has a near reverent regard for this band. He was in the kitchen with this silly grin on his face, pouring raisin bran and playing air guitar as I sat on the couch involuntarily plucking my eyelashes out one by one. I have to admit though...I do get a nostalgic coma-like feeling from this music because he listened to this band daily when we were dating and I was so crazy-go-nuts in love with him that I probably would have eaten a dead elephant foot if he offered it to me - and enjoyed it. And there are the occasional bursts of quirky lyrics that are hard to resist...something about "Give the director a serpent detector, a molerat deflector, a rivet reflector, a cushion confector, a hormone collector, a picture of nectar..." It's hard not to enjoy that...it's like hating Shel Silverstien...not possible.

Anyway...I thought a few bites of icecream might help get me through this morning ...and as I pried the shrink wrap off of the carton, Nic remarked through a mouthful of cereal, "Isn't it a little early to be hitting the sauce?" To which I replied with one small glance which communicated a thousand words such as, "I am eight months pregnant wearing a pink flowered moo-moo because that is all I can sausage my body into and even though I just ate an orange and a plate of tuna casserole I will now eat some icecream if I dang well feel like it. And each bite will increase my virtue and beauty." And because we are basking in this twilight zone of unnatural contentment on this rare morning...I think he believed me.

Dog Funeral

Do you think it would disrupt the Christmas chi in my house if I caused actual death to my dog? Like, cut his scrawny little body into pieces and feed it to the alligators type thing? RAISIN IS DRIVING ME NUTS! He peed on my Christmas tree. Not only did he whiz on my ornaments, lights and actual tree (how on earth do you clean 5ooo little fake needles whilst they are connected to 1000 lights?), but he peed on my beautifully wrapped gifts and my tree skirt! And it wasn't just any tree skirt, it was a gorgeous beaded, Martha Stewart number I fell in love with and coughed up 25 bucks for because it was just that awesome. I saw in in a KMart ad...and honestly, who goes to KMart anymore? I don't, it's like the twilight zone in there...deserted, outdated and it smells like the seventies. But, I drug both my kids out in the night and drove all the way to Henderson to get the thing...so I must have really liked it! The care instructions specifically say to not get it wet, so that would rule out peeing on it and washing it. DEEEEP LOOOONG Breath. I always wrap the fancy packages first because they look good under the tree...you know the ones that you buy the gorgeous foil paper and special ribbon for? Yeah, he peed on those.

One of the hardest things about being pregnant for me is that I lose my sensible normal self. I cry over the weirdest stuff. Nic was getting ready for work and stopped ironing his shirt to come over and put his arm around me while I knelt before my newly spinkled Christmas tree and cried like I was five years old. PSYCHO! I know! I hate it, but truly can't help it. He's the best husband. After the crazy lady hormones retreated back in their cave, I stopped to think about there are much worse things going on in the world than my peed on christmas tree. I had a great day just laughing at my kids. Afton even drew me a picture of a new "christmas carpet" (tree skirt) to make me feel better. Poor kid! My favorite cute moment of the day was Afton and Evan fighting over the bandaid in the doctor kit. Evan chased her around saying, "AH-TON! DIMMIE DAT DAMBAID! I'm so grateful for my cute family that puts up with me so willingly. And if you made it to the end of this post....thankful for you too. Merry Christmas and pray for Raisin's life...I still haven't made up my mind about his fate.

Phew!

Christmas time can be so fun, yet so crazy! I constantly find myself bouncing between periods of stess and bilss. There are so many activities to participate in and when I get behind in my organization I get overwhwhelmed! But I love, love, love melting into my couch every night after the kids are in bed and looking at my Christmas tree. (Usually playing with Nic's hair as he snores in my lap.) So here's what's been going on.

Daddy Daughter Date - Fun carefree time
Nic has decided on his own that he wants to take the kids on dates. This is him and Afton rollerskating at Crystal Palace. He said he really felt the rightness of having alone time with the kids confirmed to him as he sat and chatted with Afton at Burger king afterwards. He asked her about preschool, her friends, etc...and she glowed with all of the attention. So cute.

Sweaty Santa
Nic got this random urge to particiapte in the Santa Run. He along with 8 or 9 thousand other Santas ran a 5K to raise money for opportunity villiage. He is so random sometimes. But I loved him coming home in this get-up. He had the time of his life.

Trying to get a dang photo for Christmas cards!! - Not so blissful part of Christmas

Let me tell you how this night went. We were late for the ward Christmas party. I suddenly realized I did not own even one pair of pants that would fit over my bump that were not grease stained sweats or gaucho pants. So I was wearing my pre-pregnancy slacks -totally unzipped hoping they wouldn't a.) fall off in the buffet line or b.) look all lumpy in the Christmas photo. Nic had made this amazing camera stand with books, a highchair and a small table to perch the camera on so we could use the timer. And to top it all off, Afton and her interesting posing skills, which I have mentioned before, made getting a good shot nearly impossible. I assure you, what follows is a very small sampling of her creative interpretation of "say cheese".

The Mackays dropped by- Great part of the Holidays
Our beloved bff's from California stopped by and lit up our life with this giant trout pillow. It just tickled my funny bone. I nearly wet myself. Evan would stroke him, tuck him into bed, ride him like a bronco...I couldn't get enough of this darn fish.

This isn't Christmas related, but Evan had his second birthday and was thrilled with his motorcyle that said, "Ninja wheelie time!!!! SCREECH..PEEL OUT NOISE..." Mom was not so thrilled with that sound after hearing it all day, but whatever.

Okay fine, this also has nothing to do with Christmas, but OH MY GOSH! I had the bomb twilight party! Thanks to every fanatical friend that attended. We had the most delicious spread of vampire inspired food, over 20 women and the best time I have had in forever. We had way more fun than this picture portrays. Apparently I am the master at capturing people at the most awkward or rediculous moment.

Sigh.....Look, even my sister in the background is enjoying watching me kiss Edward...he's that cute!

Good Question

You never know the thoughts that may be going on in a four year-old's mind. We were driving back from the pediatritian and Afton said, "Cool."

"What's cool?" I said.

"We never have to die when we are "ress-rected"", Afton said.

"Yeah. That's true." I said.

Then she said, "How do you get to heaven? Do you ride up on a bed or does Heavenly Father come down and pick you up?"

I had a good laugh trying to imagine some cloud covered taxi or bed knobs and broom sticks scenario. She's such a cute little thing.

Money coming out the .....

I always giggle when I ask Nic for money. I handle the finances and if you asked Nic he probably doesn't even know how much he makes on any given payday. I never carry cash. He does. He has a special relationship with his new money clip. He doesn't really care about things, but man he loves this money clip. But I digress...

Because I never carry cash, occasionally I have to roll Nic for some. It feels so cute, it makes me feel like a little girl to ask him for money...kind of taken care of or something...sort of sugardaddied. Anyway, he gave me a 20.00 bill this morning. I was positive I left it on the couch after family prayer. He went to work and I spent a good ten minutes looking for it to no avail.

Guess where I finally found it? Inside Evan's diaper. Nic hid it there. I'm not sure the message I'm supposed to take from that.

Blogger Ninja!

I am the blogger ninja. My indian name is "duped Angie into marrying me". As blogger ninja, I slink around her posts, adding tidbits and insights with ninja speed and ninja precision.

This attack has to do with the total awesomeness of my wife. She made this great invitation:

She is amazingly creative...and sincere. She asked me "are you going to feel wierd about me publishing a picture of me slinking around the naked, svelte body of some super-hunk?" and I said "No! anyone who knows us, knows I look exactly like that. No worries!" So she's sensitive too.

The Ninja also declares that Angie's new hair cut is totally awesome. Her eyes are the most beautiful things I've ever seen, and she is a naturally hot pregnant babe, even without trying. It's hard to keep my ninja mind on ninja thoughts when I'm around her.

Her ninja husband makes close to no ninja dollars and works like a ninja dog about 12 hours a day. This means that Angie runs a whole household, takes care of my 2-1/2 ninja children, all without help and without any money. We eat like kings, not because we buy expensive food, but because she can magically whip four basic, left-over ingredients into endless nights of fancifal feasts.

She is modest, so when she sees my ninja post, she will first be embarrased, then giggle, then try to remove it unless we kep commenting to have her keep it up.

"Duped Angie into marying me" ninja loves his ninja wife.....and what?...uh huh...well yes President Washington, I'm pretty fond of you too.