Wednesday, March 25, 2009


When I first met Nic he would laugh often about how I classified certain things as "rude". For instance...if a cloud covered the sun while I was trying to get a tan that cloud would obviously be "rude". If I stubbed my toe on the door jam, the door jam was "rude". Etc...

Well, now something else is attacking me in a very rude way. This whole pregnancy-postpartum thing. Sigh.

As far as I know, my abdomen was the only body part that was actually pregnant. Why then, do you suppose I cannot get my jeans past my knees? My thighs weren't pregnant were they? RUDE!

How is it possible that after giving birth to a nearly nine pound baby I hop on the scale two days later and find I have lost a whopping seven pounds? RUDE!

And let's not forget the ultimate firing squad of brutal children. I have had to give up my personal shower time and have traded it for piling me, Afton, and Evan in at once or else a shower just doesn't happen. During this morning's shower Afton asked me 1.) "Why is your belly button so big like a mole hole?" She then followed with my personal favorite 2.) "Why are your boobs so long now?" Sigh.

Now that I sleep solely on my left side to protect Jemma from Nic rolling on her I have developed this amazing zit on my left cheek. It's pretty much the biggest zit I've ever heard of in real life or in legend...I have affectionately named it Molgarath. (Watch the Spiderwick Chronicles for clarification). Here's a picture of Molgarath.
Even Nic got in on the action when one morning my naturally curly hair was particularly unruly and he told me I looked like Gene Wilder. For those of you who can't remember who that is...he played Willy Wonka on the original Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

I can't deny...he pretty much hit the nail on the head.

So, lately it can be pretty hard to look at myself. But you know what? When I get a little discouraged at what has happened to my body after three kids, this is what I do. I go pick up Jemma and I walk to a mirror and take a good look. I am a mother. I see myself holding her and know there is more to me than what I look like, what longitude my body parts are at, or if a mole would in fact enjoy burrowing in for the winter in my larger than normal belly button. I am a mother! It's pretty amazing. Jemma is pretty amazing. She's beautiful. And every night (several times a night) when she wakes up to be fed and it feels like someone Elmer's glued my eye lids shut and I can barely wake up, I can't help but take one look at her and a smile spreads across my lips because I still can't believe she is mine! I'm happy to see her every time. So I guess I just want to say...Yeah, it's important to look my best and take care of myself, but I'm trying not to dwell on the things out of my control. You know? It's not my fault these things happened belly button is just rude.


Christene said...

Amen, sister! You're on the right track. And in a couple months, things will be looking up, literally. Hormones tend to make us way more critical of our bodies than necessary. You're beautiful!

Ryan, Melissa and Addy said...

I personally think you look fabulous! Not a whole lot you can do about having long boobs, an unfortunate side effect of nursing! I'll tell you what's rude, when I once had my hair scrunched my mom told me that I looked like Carrot Top. Carrot top! Is that not the rudest thing ever! I would take Gene Wilder over Carrot top any day lady!

i said...

i'm not even going to mention RUDE things justin says that are too rude to mention. i just hate the truth! thank goodness motherhood is so full of goodness that it's usually o.k. to eat the dirt? :)

Murray Clan said...

Oh my gosh, you are so stinking funny... Ive been sitting with my head onthe desk for almost 5 minutes just laughing at your perfect description of your current reality! Too real, this too shall pass :)

Karen said...

Oh, you are beautiful! My hubby always says that I earned my mommy body! (Long boobs and stretch marked belly pouch and all!) Your baby is precious!

Lil said...

That is rude. Man you are so funny.

I just want to remind you the next time you feel huge....#1.That I gained 60lbs. with ella. It took a year to lose most of it. Now that was some rude fat.
#2. Maternity jeans are magical, not only do they feel like a dream, but all that elastic seems to nudge most of that belly into the correct spot.
#3. You have a beautiful Face and a beautiful personality, even if you gained 5 million pounds I don't think any of that would change.
#4. Put all those rude things away and buy new "nice" things where possible. (obviously not new kids yours are sweethearts and we all need a little brutal honesty to humble/mock us into a humorous life)

#5 the best advice. I didn't lose any fat until I loved it. I'm not lying, I loved my fat butt. It will stop mattering.

This is incredibly long. I really should just walk down to your house at this point.

Audrey Taylor said...

Angie just keep clothes on for a while and take good care to eat right and walk. You know when you are nursing your body releases a hormone that enables your bones to move back into place if you wear a girdle or snug pants.
I really do think this is how we're supposed to look.

Michelle said...

I couldn't have said it better myself! Those body parts are definately rude sometimes, particularly after childbirth...but it is totally worth it.
And just for the record, you are still fabulously beautiful! Even that picture of you displaying the cheek zit is cute. And trust me, I have definately had more offensively zits in my life. Like a week before Weston was born I got this gnarly looking massive cyst or carbuncle thing on my hip that had like 7 heads and took almost a month to drain. It hurt so bad that even in the worst moments of labor (no pain meds mind you), I was complaining about my freaking hip sore! Sorry to ramble... I don't usually share that particular story. :)
By the way, I hope your baby lunchey thing went super last Saturday... I was sad I couldn't make it!

stout family said...

what would we do without the angie larkins' of the world...putting every mothers feelings into words so eloquently!?!?!?!

Catina said...

If it makes you feel any better, Zac told me the other day, "Mom, aren't you a little old to be a new mother?" RUDE.

Also, Adam loves nothing more than to squeeze my loose belly skin thanks to four pregnancies.

But yes, as I watch my children grow and develop, I am amazed every day that I hatched them. What a miracle it is to incubate a baby for nine months and then watch as they learn the ropes in this world. Nothing better or harder than motherhood, even if you do end up with a mole hole belly button!

Stacie said...

My belly button is also rude. And while on the subject, so are the hairs on my chin that just won't quit. Notice I used the PLURAL form of the word 'hairs'...

so rude

Jennifer said...

That's great! I mean your comments are, but I feel for you. I know what you are going through. Here's a positive thought, at least you don't have a post fourth baby body. That's even worse than the third, in my opinion. You look great, even in profile, dispite your old friend "Molegarath". I love it!

Mary said...

Angie I really think you are a beautiful lady!

Jill Smith said...

Okay, so I love, love, love reading your blog! You are so sweet and funny and such an amazing mom and person! I have to admit, I'm getting a little anxious for my baby to arrive after reading about your story and postpartum "rudeness".
I seriously could relate to about 20 things that you wrote about-we'll have to chat more in the future- I'm sure we'll have even more in common after I deliver :)
Hang in there and you better know how stinkin' beautiful you are and that's all that matters! Hope you're enjoying your new home (even though it takes forever to unpack and "situate")
Jill Smith