Sunday, December 12, 2010

I See You

He was asleep in my lap. I was up too late. I'm always up too late. If he had his way, our bedtime would be 7:45 pm and we'd wake up by 5:00. If I had my way, the human body wouldn't need sleep at all, hummus would have no calories and he'd quit razzing me about watching Tivoed Oprahs.

I'd been going all day and hadn't really noticed I had him around. I knew his body was around. I heard him close cupboard doors and thump down the stairs. I'd put a plate of dinner in front of him and asked him about his day. But I hadn't noticed him yet. I ran out of Oprahs. Then I noticed him.

His hand was warm, dead weight as I lifted it to my face. I covered my eye with his palm and felt the heat press through my skin. I kissed his knuckles one by one. I could smell the citrus oil on his fingers from the Clementine orange he'd eaten earlier. I should have done this when he was awake.

What if I were alone? There would be no flannel clad spooning at night. No one to take a heavy purse from my arm and shamelessly carry it through the mall. No kiss after prayer. No soft white t-shirt to bury my face into. No armpit to lay in. Do you know how much I love the smell of his deodorant?

I love my Nicolas.

6 comments:

Lisa said...

I love this, Angie.

Melissa, Ryan and Addy said...

I always get so excited when I see a new post from you pop up on Google Reader! Isn't it sad that the most important relationships in our lives also happen to be the ones that we most take for granted? Truly sad, but always so great to have moments of clarity like this one that you had.

Cyndi said...

Well said! Thanks for the reminder.

Michelle said...

Reading this post made me think of how much I love my own hubby, who shamelessly carries my purse for me too... and whose armpit I also love to bury my face in. (Thank you deoterant - I doubt pioneer wives did that!)
Your posts really are the best, Angie.

Jack Attack said...

love this. you are one of the best writers I know. and your sharing times are always enjoyable.

superstore said...

Merry Christmas...
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