On Saturday night I went shopping at Superwalmart. I knew it was going to be one of those nights because when I went to open my car door it shocked the co-co puffs out of me. Sometimes the universe aligns in some bizarre way in which I get schocked by just about anything. When I got to Walmart I put my keys in my purse which also created an electrical shock. By this time I am gun-shy. I go to get my cart and I sort of slapped the handle first to test it out and of course it shocked me. A painful one too! I then got shocked on the dairy case handle (twice) and then on a can of tuna. WHY?
So I made my way to the produce section sort of relieved I was done buying stuff involving metal only to realize every time I let go of the shopping cart it would shock me again when I touched it to move somewhere else! Then the weirdest thing happened. I GOT SHOCKED BY A GALL DANG AVOCADO! An avocado people! Since when have avocados been superconductors of electricity? At this point I can't help at least wonder if God is just messin' with me.
God: Pssst...Saint Peter..leave the pearly gate duty to someone else and come check this out.
St. Peter: Who's that girl?
God: That's Angie Larkin. And that my friend is a mountain of avocados in which I have added 5000 volts of electricity to every single one.
St. Peter: Hee Hee.
God: And guess who has "guacamole fixins" on her shopping list?
St. Peter: This oughtta be good.
Okay...I know my shocking problem isn't God's fault, but it does sort of...oh I don't know...defy every natural law I've ever heard of. It is a unique feeling to be scared of an avocado. So you just remember that next time you are in the produce section of Walmart.