Monday, June 23, 2008

Black holes, The Bermuda Triangle, and Me

On Saturday night I went shopping at Superwalmart. I knew it was going to be one of those nights because when I went to open my car door it shocked the co-co puffs out of me. Sometimes the universe aligns in some bizarre way in which I get schocked by just about anything. When I got to Walmart I put my keys in my purse which also created an electrical shock. By this time I am gun-shy. I go to get my cart and I sort of slapped the handle first to test it out and of course it shocked me. A painful one too! I then got shocked on the dairy case handle (twice) and then on a can of tuna. WHY?

So I made my way to the produce section sort of relieved I was done buying stuff involving metal only to realize every time I let go of the shopping cart it would shock me again when I touched it to move somewhere else! Then the weirdest thing happened. I GOT SHOCKED BY A GALL DANG AVOCADO! An avocado people! Since when have avocados been superconductors of electricity? At this point I can't help at least wonder if God is just messin' with me.

God: Pssst...Saint Peter..leave the pearly gate duty to someone else and come check this out.

St. Peter: Who's that girl?

God: That's Angie Larkin. And that my friend is a mountain of avocados in which I have added 5000 volts of electricity to every single one.

St. Peter: Hee Hee.

God: And guess who has "guacamole fixins" on her shopping list?

St. Peter: This oughtta be good.

Okay...I know my shocking problem isn't God's fault, but it does sort of...oh I don't know...defy every natural law I've ever heard of. It is a unique feeling to be scared of an avocado. So you just remember that next time you are in the produce section of Walmart.

13 comments:

Chris & Lynette said...

That is one of the funniest things I have ever heard. I thought I had problems with getting shocked...but nope, never by an avocado!

Chris & Lynette said...

No, No, No, sorry to confuse you. It's just our little getaway place. We are building with my parents and it's our place to stay when we are up there. We will move there eventually(like hopefully when James is ready for school) but for now, we are stuck here-yes still in the Paradis Stake!

Stacie Morris said...

Wow, imagine the danger a pineapple would have been to you!

Craig said...

I feel for you, not just because of the electric avocados - but because shopping at Super Wal-Mart is never fun. I don't like to go there much. Maybe God doesn't either?

I don't think it's you, I think he has it in for Super Wal-Mart.

It's a Boy!!! said...

I will never again enter a produce department without letting out a little giggle in memory of your experience. Thank you for a good laugh!

It's a Boy!!! said...

PS..this is that baby nurse blog I was talking about. http://itsababynotbrainsurgery.blogspot.com/

We will discuss it the next time I see you!

Melissa, Ryan and Addy said...

What the heck! That really is weird to get shocked by such a thing as an avacado! That same thing always used to happen to me when I'd get out of the car though, I would always get shocked by stuff. I guess it's just that dry Las Vegas air, cause it doesn't happen to me here. By the way, we are in San Diego because my husband is going to grad. school at San Diego State. He's majoring in business psychology and don't ask me to explain what that means! Also, if you ever come here you really must come see us. That would be very fun!

Mackay Family said...

No way! I thought I was the only one. Angie, you are not alone. I have been shocked by a zucchini!! Actually, I'm probably the only other human who hates to be shocked more than you-yes yes, we all know how jittery I am. When I was 18 I tried putting Bounce static cling sheets in my shoes to see if I could reduce the shocks, but to no avail. Sometimes I'll even try and avoid Kim's "Welcome home from work" kiss on a windy day because I don't want to get a Mount Olympus kiss. Nic will deny his, but he used to zap me with the Shocky Dog Collar they used to use for Meesha the Shnauzer...

The Morris Fam said...

Only you, Angie could describe an avacado shocking in this manner...I predict this entry will top all others in comments posted!

Lafantasma said...

Ha ha! Well obviously God must have had it in for you in the first place if you were in Super Walmart on a Saturday LOL! You didn't do anything bad enough to deserve that, did you? To answer your questions, yes, I got married when I was 18, and no, I don't recommend it for everyone, but I do have to say it turned out pretty well for me. I also had friends who dated just as long as my hubby and I did, were in their 30s and they divorced 3 years later, so what can I say? I guess age isn't that important sometimes. Anyhoo, I was in Ecuador with Chris' (my brother) girlfriend because her dad is in Ecuador. While there, I met Rosalia, who is now married to my other brother Bill. They met while Rosi was up here visiting. There, all mysteries solved. Ask and you shall receive. :) BTW, are you going to the Breaking Dawn release party at Barnes and Noble? I pre-ordered my copy, and am going to the one on Stephanie and Sunset. They're releasing it at 12:01 on Aug 2nd! Can't wait!

monica said...

So you think someone is out to get you?
Did you hear that conversation with God & St. Peter? hummmm.....
And an avocado "shocked" you, you say?
You know, they have pills for stuff like paranoia, hearing voices & electric avocados.
You might want to look into that. :)

monica said...

fyi: I know they definitely have lots of drugs for paranoid schizophrenics.

Marylin and Jimmy said...

Oh man I thought I was the only one! I have been shocked by just about everything I touch when I go to SuperWal-Mart! One time it was a head of lettuce! Man we should not ever go there together or the power could go out! :) Hee hee